I’ve got a few talks and things coming up, as follows:


4 August Talk to Horndean U3A.

9 August 2.00 – 4.00 pm Selsey Centre – Meet The Authors.

19 – 26 August 11.00 am Arundel Town Hall – my new play, Entries and Exits, will be performed (by me) as part of the Arundel Festival Theatre Trail.

6 September Lymington Library – talk.

27 September Windsor Festival – panel ‘Remembering P.D. James’.

1 October Morecambe – ‘Morecambe and Vice’.

14 October 10.00 am - Thame Book Festival.

20 October Talk to Emsworth U3A.

Seriously Funny… and Other Oxymorons

My 100th publication is a modern book of oxymorons, from 'alcohol-free wine' to 'compassionate Conservatism'

The oxymoron is one of the great beauties of the English language - 'a figure of speech that juxtaposes elements that appear to be contradictory'. Some are so common that they are part of everyday language: when we speak of acting naturally... or a victimless crime... or buy a one-size-fits-all garment... the oxymoron is there, hiding in plain sight.

From Popular Culture, to Political Principles and Business Ethics, this book (sure to be a new classic) contains a seriously funny collection of the most brilliantly silly oxymorons, accompanied by amusing illustrations by Paul Thomas. For example...

Numb Feeling: This can be prompted by many domestic events, such opening a spouse's credit card statement, picking up the telephone bill for a teenager in love, or simply standing on the bathroom scales.

Open Secret: There are many of these in relationships, the most common being a husband having an affair that everyone knows about (except his wife).

Useful FAQ: FAQ is an abbreviation for 'Frequently Asked Questions'. Lists of FAQs are guaranteed to list the answer to every question except the one you want the answer to.

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